Overwhelmed?

Someone the other day told me they would be "overwhelmed" to write a book. I thought about it. I'm not. Writing the book isn't overwhelming, it's busting to get out of me. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by:
- the thought of not getting it published. It's not a diary, it's a book, I want people to read it, I need people to read it..........I want them to read it.....even if they hate it and disagree
- the boldness of the choice to write it and what it has meant for my life and lifestyle. Most of the time it shocks me how happy I am to be writing this book. Other times it scares me. In the strictest sense of the word I am doing it alone. I feel the quiet support of my family (this matters to me), the genuine support of my friends and, some days, the enthusiasm and excitement of strangers whom I happen to tell. But only I write the book, it comes from me.
- what happens next? Life after the book. This taps at the back of my mind. I have nine draft chapters; more than most would expect. I can smell it if not yet see the finish line and there is nothing but haze on the horizon. I can committ to tomorrow, next week, maybe next month....I don't know. If I am asked for more I will simply say no - at least I have gained the courage to just say "I don't know where I will be".
A year and more of uncertainty was preceded by three and a half years of certainty........although now I recognise that time was no less certain than what I am doing now - it was just framed differently, packaged in a way that had me not see the uncertainty of it and that I created and generated alot of the uncertainty, as I do today. Staying still, it scares me......much much more than I really understood. What I am doing now is more honest, more real, no pretense and no facade. I toy with future possibilities; it's a privillege and a pain. The choices are all mine.
I am less overwhelmed and occassionally disturbed as I watch my bank balance go down, and feel my ego stay static - writing a book that is to be published is about deferred gratification - I'm good at that. Risk and reward - no easy life for me.
I wander what happens tomorrow?