Girls need not apply

I went out of town for a few days to a job interview and since coming back have been in a bit of a fug. To help shove me along I went back to reading Antony Loyds book. He's quite "poetic" in some ways around how he expresses himself. Drives me a bit nuts when I'm reading it but every now and then he hits the mark - describing some feeling he had. Particularly around being isolated and how he felt as an observer of the war. Anyway it shoved me along quite unexpectedly. I've been writing about the lead up to deploying. I really had forgotten some of the subtle and not so subtle barriers that were put in front of me. I really really hated the pre.deployment phase it really was one of the worst times of my life, in fact I am tempted to say it was the worst time of my life. And that's saying something - my little senstive self has had some very unpleasant times! If there is any point in writing the book that prompts a quiet fury in me it is here. Some senior officers were just bastards (none of whom were actually deploying). I think I'll write the quietly furious version of this chapter and see how it turns out. Well it's not like writing is that contrived. It really does just pour out of me unbidden and without effort on those days it's meant to.

It's been a while

It is true I've been distracted by other parts of life. Or at least trying to create one outside of writing the book.....but that's not all. I've been stuck on exactly how to talk about Bosnia. I have lots of snippits of stories but have been struggling to bring them together. Then I read Anthony Loyds book "My War Gone By, I Miss It So". Anthony was a journalist when I was in Bosnia and features in one of my "tales". His book talks about his time in Bosnia et al. Reading his book cracked open the egg. His stories brought memories flooding back and, importantly, reminded me of some stories I had missed. Incidents that were minor in his world are big in mine - largely because he has much bigger stories to tell, being in the war at its height and, importantly based in the area we ended up in. I've just written a whole chapter prompted by these memories. It seems to be how it works......nothing, bored, think there's nothing more to say.......wham prompted to new insights and reminded that context is all. It's not just about me it's also about the war itself. Today is a good day to be a writer.