Girls need not apply

I went out of town for a few days to a job interview and since coming back have been in a bit of a fug. To help shove me along I went back to reading Antony Loyds book. He's quite "poetic" in some ways around how he expresses himself. Drives me a bit nuts when I'm reading it but every now and then he hits the mark - describing some feeling he had. Particularly around being isolated and how he felt as an observer of the war. Anyway it shoved me along quite unexpectedly. I've been writing about the lead up to deploying. I really had forgotten some of the subtle and not so subtle barriers that were put in front of me. I really really hated the pre.deployment phase it really was one of the worst times of my life, in fact I am tempted to say it was the worst time of my life. And that's saying something - my little senstive self has had some very unpleasant times! If there is any point in writing the book that prompts a quiet fury in me it is here. Some senior officers were just bastards (none of whom were actually deploying). I think I'll write the quietly furious version of this chapter and see how it turns out. Well it's not like writing is that contrived. It really does just pour out of me unbidden and without effort on those days it's meant to.